The one thing the folks over at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (LSSC) are real good about is telling us about fake new products like the Boston Hand Sanitizer.

    “Listen kid, Boston’s got the best bar scenes, the best grinders,
     and now the best hand sanitizers. Introducing, Boston Hand
     Sanitizer!”

That’s right, folks! Courtesy of Markey and his brother, the city of Boston is now selling a hand sanitizer for folks to use when they’re in and around or when they’re out and about.

You touched the remote control that the dog has been secretly licking, use the Boston Hand Sanitizer.

You accidently touched that one towel that you said you’d never touch again, use the Boston Hand Sanitizer.

You walked into a Walmart, use the Boston Hand Sanitizer. The Boston Hand Sanitizer is like no other. Its special ingredients of Samuel Adams and clam chowder will keep you clean all the way down from your head to your feet and toes.



That little tingle you’re feeling is nothing but the Samuel Adams and the clam chowder working together to keep all of those big bad viruses away.

There’s no doubt about it. The Boston Hand Sanitizer is the best there is. And it’s waaayyy better than that New York Clean hand sanitizer New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been peddling. Would you believe that they put lilacs, hydrangeas, and tulips in that stuff in order to give it a “floral smell." And to make matters worse, they’ve gotten cheap labor from the prison system to make this stuff.

Markey and his brother, however, recognize that people who are free are the ones who really need the green. That’s why they’ve hired folks from the streets who were, as they say, “…people who should be in prison but they got off ‘cause they’re wicked smart.”

I don’t know about y’all but the folks I want making my hand sanitizer are those who are smart enough to not get caught.

You know what they say, “If you’re smart enough to figure out how to stay out of prison, then you’re smart enough to figure out how to follow the instructions to putting together the right ingredients for hand sanitizer.”

They should sell that stuff on Amazon dot com?!